Flipping America 174, Feelings are Overrated

Podcast 174 feelings are overrated

Expected Air Date: 8/6/18


Ok, I’ve given away my content a bit with the title “Feelings are Overrated.” But I’m going to back it up. I’m reminded of a press conference with Coach Bobby Knight when, after a particularly difficult loss a reporter asked him how he felt. Even at the time I thought it was a dumb question, but Coach Knight didn’t disappoint. He tore into the reporter and reminded all of us what a stupid question sounds like. That hasn’t deterred reporters from asking the most obvious question over and over – “How do you feel?” 

First of all, the answer to that always goes without saying. The reporter asking it is not seeking news, but rather echoing the sentiment in our culture that we should be focusing on and thinking about our feelings. Today I’m going to challenge that notion and put forth the idea that while feelings are a part of our lives and should be acknowledged, 75 years of focusing on them hasn’t made anything better and possibly has made things worse.

If you’re like me, and I bet you are, you see someone doing something completely senseless everyday. You also see people acting in complete disregard for everyone around them, as if the universe revolves around them. And lastly you probably see people who have a strong sense of self-esteem without any logical or apparent reason in their life why they should feel good about themselves.

 By focusing on our feelings we have lost our way when it comes to doing the hard stuff. A culture and a nation grows soft while contemplating our feelings. And the true tragedy is found in the belief that if we can discover how we truly feel, we will be better. The fact is, once we spend the time to discover how we truly feel, all we have done is focus on the emotion, but we haven’t progressed toward any meaningful recovery. 

Watch a little TV and you will no doubt see a commercial for a new wonder drug designed to address one of your emotional states. Never mind the 5 pages of potentially life-threatening side effects they read off in super speed, the extent the drug works is the extent to which is numbs that feeling somehow. 

In a few minutes I’m going to share with you a better way – a way to acknowledge your feelings and still get useful things done. I want to give you a hint now, but I think I’ll leave it at that. 



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Topic: Feelings are Overrated

If your life is a play, “feelings” is one of the actors, but definitely NOT the director. 

Purpose is the director of our day to day lives. 

We’ve spent two generations getting in touch with our feelings, and all we’ve done is feel worse than ever before. 

While acknowledging our feelings, do what needs to be done and in so doing notice that we begin to feel differently, often better. 

Physical exercise combats depression. 

Progression of Activity and Reaction:

Activating Event (external)





Immediate problems result if we skip the “thought” step. Unfortunately our culture has been training people for at least 75 years to focus on their feelings which has led to acting on or responding to those feelings. 

If we completely ignore our feelings we may run into problems down the road, but our decisions will be more productive and reasonable. 

Here’s another problem. Few people have practiced thinking before acting for so long, fewer still know what or how to think when they set out to do so. In general, schools don’t really teach people how to think. They spit out facts for memorization and grades are based on the ability to memorize, not the ability to think. 

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Questions@flippingamericaradio.com Tell us where you’re from!

  • Ronald, Colorado Springs, CO, “I need help finding deals for flips. I’m wrapping up my third deal. All three of them came from a small local bank. They don’t have anything else now, and I’m not sure what to do next. I’ve read a bunch of articles online, but I’m not sure which ones work and which ones are hype. Thanks for the show.”
  • Meredith, Pittsburgh, PA, “I want to invest in real estate, but I don’t want to own rental properties and I don’t want to do flips. I want passive investment. I know about REITs and I’ve done some checking into crowdfunding sites. The REITs don’t have great returns but they seem relatively safe. The crowdfunding makes me leery. I know they are probably doing just fine but it seems a little dicey to me. How should I be thinking about where to put my money?”
  • Sydney, Lancaster, PA, “I’m confused about getting my business set up. I own three rental houses and a duplex, all titled in my own name. I just watched a webinar on asset protection. I heard that I needed to form a Nevada Corporation, which they were willing to set up for me — for a fee of course. Since it was a webinar I looked up what it cost and they were adding about $1000 to what it would really cost. So I passed. But the logic seemed compelling. So I think I need to do something. I would like your input.”
  • Ellen, Villages of Ocala, FL, “We are trying to maximize the returns on our self-directed IRA. We started a little late in the game and don’t really have enough money in there to buy and flip a house. Any suggestions?”
  • Karenza, Long Beach, CA “I want to dive into buying rental properties here in southern california. My question is, am I too late?”
  • Britney, Penn Hills, PA “My husband and I are finishing up our first flip — so exciting! We are having a discussion about interior paint colors. Our property is in an area that has a lot of investor activity with trendy styles and colors. I want a bold color scheme, but my husband wants builder’s beige. Can you settle the debate?”

Motivational Thoughts for the day

  • “Dreams will get you nowhere, a good kick in the pants will take you a long way…” Baltasar Gracian


[0:00] Music.

[0:28] Time for flipping America the show that teaches you how to make money in real estate wherever you are whatever your situation there is an opportunity for you.

Flipping America is brought to you today by Braswell Capital Solutions commercial lending made easy on the web at Braswell Capital solutions.com.

And now here’s that flipping America guy Rodger Blankenship

I am Roger Blankenship and I teach people how to make money in real estate I’m happy to be with you today we’ve got a lot of news got a lot of questions and an important topic that

hi I’m hoping I’m going to have time for about them going to make time for it then does some of the questions may have to wait until next time because this topic is so important.

Years ago.

I was watching I’m a big basketball fan especially college basketball and I was watching a game between Indiana and Kentucky and fortunately.

Me being from Kentucky Kentucky one and after the game there was a press conference with Coach Bobby Knight of Indiana and you know it’s been it’s been many years ago cuz he hasn’t coach at Indiana since 2000 this was probably five or six year old for that.

Maybe 10 years before that I don’t know anyway I’ll never forget after the game.

A reporter said to Bobby Knight how do you feel.

[1:53] And even at the time I thought it was a dumb question but coach night didn’t disappoint he stared this reporter down for a few minutes and then he just tore that reporter a new one and reminded all of us what a stupid question sounds like

and it even said in less than dignified words what a stupid question that was you know.

[2:18] Aside from that.

This hasn’t deterred reporters from asking this most obvious question over and over again you think about it think about how many times you’ll get a reporter after a big win or a big loss still talk to the star of the winning or losing team and I’ll ask how do you feel

after somebody has won the national championship for the world championship how do you feel first of all the answer to that always goes without saying.

It’s really one of the dumbest questions they can ever ask.

But at this point to reporters not really seeking any news but just echoing the sentiment in our culture that we should be focusing on and thinking about our feelings.

Today I’m going to challenge that notion and put forth the idea that while feelings are a part of our lives and should be acknowledged the past 75 years from our psychological counseling.

[3:11] Culture this past 75 years of focusing on feelings hasn’t made anything better and quite possibly has made things worse.

If you’re like me and I bet you are you see someone doing something completely senseless everyday.

And I suggest to you that they’re probably acting,

on feelings rather than logical thinking you also see people acting in complete disregard for everyone around them you’ll see this

if you’re around people everyday you’ll see this as if the universe just revolves around them this is another person acting on feeling rather than thinking and lastly you probably see people who have a strong sense of self esteem without any

logical or apparent reason in their life why they should feel good about themselves by focusing on our feelings we have lost our way,

it comes to doing the hard stuff a culture and a nation grows soft while contemplating our feelings.

And the true tragedy is found in the belief that if we can discover how we truly feel will be better.

The fact is once we spend the time to discover how we truly feel all we have done is learn to focus our Lives On Emotion.

But we haven’t progressed or any meaningful recovery.

[4:34] Watch a little TV and then you will no doubt see a commercial for a new wonder drug designed to address one of your emotional states.

Never mind the five pages of potentially life-threatening side effects it that they read off in super speed the intent.

That Jewish the drug works is the extent to which it numbs that feeling somehow and if you don’t I’m going to show you a better way,

a way to acknowledge your feelings is still get useful things done I really would like to give you a hint now but I think I’m just going to leave it at that hang on because I’m going to.

Dive into this topic feelings are overrated.

[5:18] I know that that’s controversial in today’s world but I also think it shouldn’t be.

Because the idea that feeling should be the director of Our Lives to me is ridiculous.

[5:30] More coming out in a few minutes let me tell you how to get in touch with us you can find us on Flipping America network.com and yeah this is a real estate showing,

feelings does have something to do is real estate and I’ll tie it all together to when we get there we’re on face,

Twitter Instagram YouTube LinkedIn houzz.com Pinterest were everywhere on social media particularly if you want to follow us follow us on Twitter and Instagram at flipping America we post stuff all day long.

There are so many stories about real estate and construction and investing that go on that we never have time to get to on the show so I have the team here just posting it on the social media just to keep you informed,

our purpose here is to give you the news the information the trends the styles of the

did the demographics everything that you need to make great decisions in your own real estate investing life and career and a lot of that information is going to come

almost exclusively to our social media feed so do

check them out follow them and on Twitter go ahead and set your flipping America Feed come directly to your phone.

That way you’ll see everything that we post.

Couple of announcements if you’re ever in Atlanta on a Wednesday come have lunch with us every Wednesday we are in town we do lunch what we have lunch every Wednesday even if I’m not in town I’ll get a friend of mine to be no kind of leave the group.

[6:55] But we’re having lunch at huey luey’s on Roswell Road in Sandy Springs and we do this every Wednesday from 11:30 to 1.

Come on out and join us and you can find details about this at www. Meet up,

flipping Atlanta and that will also direct you to and the next event that I’m speaking I’m actually speaking at flipping Atlanta on August 9th

and my topic is investing in real estate with your self-directed IRA that’s coming up August 9th and that’s at the Hudson Grille in Sandy Springs and again is on meet up.com flipping Atlanta

Tuesday August 14th I’ll be speaking at

Catalyst and delivering a talk called contractor impossible and I’m going to go through the complete process of finding wedding.

Recruiting hiring and managing contractors so that your projects can end up on time and on budget and this is a this is a talk taken straight out of our training but I’m going to be sharing it.

At no additional charge at Catalyst and then you need to go to evite.com and look up Catalyst to get information there is $20.18 at Maggiano’s in Buckhead.

Pyramid Atlanta area much more happening but we’ll get in.

[8:11] Music.

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[10:12] Music.

[10:31] Real estate is one of my favorite topics it’s what I do for a living and.

I am excited about real estate and enjoy continually reading researching and thinking about it but I’m amused when the people who write

stories about real estate feeling need to try to make it more exciting than it actually is and so I’ve got a headline hear that,

it just got the headline kind of cracks me up let’s take a minute and look at the news this is the headline residential markets are headed for a global apocalypse.

Alright that’s a little extreme and we’re going to link you to the headline I’m not going to go to the whole story here but they’re talking about the fact.

That wealthy people are buying up real estate all over the world like that something new and like that something Dreadful and the writer of the article tries to build the case for if one of those if one market collapses then

real estate worldwide is going to collapse and I think that people are just seeing.

Let me know Dreadful danger where none actually exist.

[11:43] I don’t know if I want to spend any more time on the methodology but I’m just not

I’m not believing I’m just amused by the headline now I do have a couple of stories in the news today about the market starting to cool off we’ve got evidence of it in Denver and will post something from Denver

I post and we got evidence of it in New York now a lot of you or saying.

Well I’m not in Denver or New York but most of you not put where on the air out there and dinner Hey Denver.

In the market is slowing down but you know the fact is the market is slowing down in all major cities in the luxury,

category and that this is been happening this is not really new news is been happening for about 6 months but I want you to be aware of it it it it it’s not even.

Turning into a bad Market it’s just slowing down and becoming more of a normal Market in the luxury segments.

[12:39] So you should expect at your home if you’re going to sell something and whatever you the luxury price ranges in your area it’s going to take you a little bit longer to sell and it might even get to you know

60 to 90 days if you’re in that segment the only thing that you need to know is that it’s happening and be aware and

be certain that you talked to the realtor that’s going to Market your home and and take a look at the average days on Market because especially when you’re have investment property in these higher price point

your daily cost is going to be much higher and so this is something you need to take into consideration that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t invest in that price range it just means that you need to count the cost before you buy.

[13:27] I’ve got the story from TechCrunch I rent logic is the name of the company rent logic lands millions in a capital raise to,

grade New York City real estate for renters and landlords that rent logic has been around for a while but they just raise additional 2.4 million to take the guesswork out of determining whether that cheap beautiful New York apartment is actually a death trap.

Captain Brownstones closing now I just quoted that right out of the article alright the idea is they.

Compile a bunch of data points including.

Complaints from users about the property and they end up with a letter grade which the.

The owners of the building the landlords can post somewhere in their property so they’ll get a letter grade that’s a rentlogic grade and when they post this thing it has it

the codes on it that you can scan and read all about the building and,

and so forth so if you’re getting ready to rent a place you can check that greyed out and do some reading and research and the landlords are paying for this so rare logic is come up with the way to monetize this are you paying attention.

[14:43] Listen folks this is a New York City there are a bunch of other cities that don’t have this but I see perfectly the.

The market

possibilities here as a something someone can take if they have a mindset to do this you should study this jumping in your ears and opportunity and we might have one more way to make money in real estate and this is basically just providing something like a Yelp review process for


[15:13] If I were in New York City I wouldn’t want to rent a place if they didn’t have a rentlogic grade and I think that’s going to happen in the number of places and so you know that this is going to be I think it’s going to be springing up in other places as well.

In a new story out from housing wire Wells Fargo,

oh my goodness I’ve long considered them kind of one of the worst Defenders of the big evil Banks but Wells Fargo.

Has yet another.

[15:42] Controversial or scandalous bit in the news they revealed over the weekend that a software error

wrongly denied much-needed mortgage modifications to hundreds and perhaps thousands of people facing foreclosure Nationwide it’s a little bit distressing

but it’s already done I don’t know what can be done about it but if you want to read the article there it is just one more black eye for Wells Fargo and I don’t know how many more eyes they have to get black because I just seems like every week there’s some new revelation from this Bank

and it kind of amazes me that they are one of the banks sort of selected by the government to.

BtoB the recipient of a lot of the assets from the banks that the government was closing down back during the crash.

[16:36] In another story about Trends I picked up the story from realtor.com foreigners are buying less and less us real estate particularly in some of the markets that are traditional buyers for

foreign investors New York San Francisco in Miami and it is dropped off considerably like I noticeable amount,

and a part of this is due as we reported earlier on this show to the United States government cracking down on Forest foreign investment not really

prohibiting it just making sure that it’s understood who actually owns the company or corporation that is buying real estate it’s an attempt to stop,

the laundering of drug money and its really.

[17:22] Turning things around in Miami in terms of foreign investment now as I noted on that earlier show it doesn’t seem to be stopping the market in the market still trudging along just fine just without a lot of foreign investors.

I got a story from Forbes Magazine today and.

It says that 2018 the spring 2018 real estate market is a good news bad news story and the thing that I appreciate most about this story is the headline because every real estate,

new story is a good news bad news story and,

so at the headlines obvious the headline could be the headline all the time but what I appreciate about it is there their least driving for balance because you can go well with me about sir.

News items and you can go old boy look at this opportunity and you know the point I’m trying to make here is it’s always been that way it’s always going to be that way.

This is true of the stock market are any investment category it’s not always you know when it goes down it’s bad when it goes up it’s good.

It it just depends on your position and and your strategy and what you’re trying to do and as I have said many times as long as you know what you’re doing when you buy real estate it doesn’t matter what’s happening in the market.

Alright we’ll be back in a few minutes with some questions for me I got a few more news items I don’t know if I have time to get to him we’ll be right back.

[18:52] Music.

[19:01] Do you want to learn how to flip houses I want to show you how to flip houses and there’s probably no one in the country better qualified than me to show you I flipped hundreds and hundreds of them,

and I also have some training and degree and experience and education so I could show you how to do exactly what I’ve done hundreds of times don’t believe me.

Head on over to put starter event.com but in the meantime Give a listen to Pat caywood.

Cleveland Tennessee and I’ve been.

Doing some flipping since about March of this year and had started with a Nationals program that was very expensive I’ve spent today with Roger Blankenship.

Learning about his program and boy do I wish I’d met Rodger.

[19:49] He has a clear concise program and many tools that are going to be very hot.

And starting and managing the program and the mentorship and Leadership and coaching that he saw frame are invaluable.

Thank you so much Rodger for your.

[20:07] Music.

[21:00] I’ll during the break I was looking at the notes and

there is one more story I want to bring to your attention this is from realtor.com America’s 10 fastest growing suburbs they’re not sleepy at all its suburbs boom it’s time folks in the suburbs are booming and what’s interesting is.

There is a growing Trend and I’ve seen this in the research and I’ve also seen it in my experience as I’m out there traveling.

Looking at markets my wife and I just returned from a quick weekend trip to look at the Huntsville Alabama Market it’s booming,

and what’s happening in Huntsville is the same as what’s happening in Atlanta and I hear from other places to live work Community is back,

and what will probably.

Do a lot more on that topic coming up and I want to focus on these booming suburbs okay the fastest growing suburbs the top

how to see how many we have we got 10 we’ve got 10 fast-growing suburbs and listen up folks if you are an investor looking to do a,

Quick Fix and Flip and you don’t mind doing a remote flip which is something that we’ve talked about here on the show pay attention to these suburbs and

not just these by name but maybe the ZIP code right next door because the suburbs are booming number one.

[22:19] Apex North Carolina this is just outside of Raleigh

and you know I’ve been saying for at least a year because we’ve been on the show for a little over a year that the fastest hottest Market

in North Carolina is the Raleigh-Durham area and Apex North Carolina listen to this the 3-year price appreciation in Apex North Carolina or the past 3 years homes gone up V.

Percent in value.

[22:46] Wow alright number to Ponte Vedra Florida this is a suburb of Jacksonville Florida.

Through your price appreciation of 13.4% number 3 Frisco Texas this should come as no surprise because,

you know Dallas and Fort Worth have been at the top of just about every top realtor list since this show started and their 3 year price appreciation is 21.2% that’s Frisco Texas.

[23:15] Number for Scottsdale Georgia just outside of Atlanta Georgia and their 3-year price appreciation are you ready for this.

200 + 7% that’s nuts let me just.

Jump off on this a little bit being a resident of Atlanta Georgia and the show comes to you from Atlanta Georgia.

I can tell you that Atlanta was particularly hard hit there was three areas in the country that were really hard hit in 2007 and ate with the collapse of the real estate market Atlanta Las Vegas and Phoenix Arizona.

And Las Vegas and Phoenix Arizona have come most of the way back.

And I know this is going to come as a little bit of news to you folks who are in the Atlanta area but our research you know corroborated by the research that we do with the big data providers are research shows that the Atlanta Market is not fully back

and I know some of your in Atlanta right now or shaking your head so they can man prices in Atlanta are nuts yeah but they’re not as far up as they’re going to go,

for probably another 12 months we’re going to see you know just crazy increases in prices in these sub luxury market and over in Scottsdale which is just over on the east side of Atlanta

the average the median home price is $404,000 remember when you could easily buy something in Scottsdale for 50 or 60 thousand and wasn’t that long ago.

[24:44] All right number 5 Lakewood Ranch Florida.

This one is kind of funny to make the metropolitan area is North Port Florida and unless you’re familiar with Florida you’re probably thinking where the heck is North Port Florida it’s on the west coast folks,

right south of Tampa it’s over there you know I’m not too far from Sarasota if you’re familiar at all it’s on the Gulf side.

And Lakewood Ranch Florida North Port Florida these areas are super hot on fire the 3-year price preciation,

is only 5.7% but the 3-year home listing increases up 73%,

and so that’s in the North Port Florida area in a suburb called Lakewood Ranch.

Number 6 or Robbie Louisiana you know I’m not sure I’m saying that right.

Some of y’all let me know could be everybody why do I do that because you know there’s a town called Vienna in Georgia except they don’t call it Vienna they call it Vienna.

[25:45] And so sometimes you have to know how to pronounce things.

And the locals have the right to pronounce in any way they want anyway this just outside of New Orleans and their 3-year price appreciation is 86.7%

number seven Manor Texas which is just outside of Austin Texas and folks it is worth clicking on the link to this article just to see the picture of the house that they have from Manor Texas

it has no less than 3.

Wacky and unrelated shades of blue on the exterior of this house do you just have to see it to believe it it’s remarkable and.

[26:24] Either you going to bed first you’re going to think this is hideous then when you look at it you into going to think by you know it’s Austin the kind of works.

All right number 8 is Aurora Colorado which is just outside of Denver and there,

3 your price appreciation is up 19.4% this three-year home listing increases up 175% that’s Aurora Colorado number 9.

This one may come as a little bit of a surprise Waukee Iowa this is just outside of Des Moines.

[26:56] There’s three your price appreciation is up 12.8% the 3-year home listing increases up 24.9% is 20 minutes west of Des Moines Iowa.

Number 10 Nolensville Tennessee.

This is just outside of Nashville Tennessee and their three your price preciation is up 34.3% and the 3-year home price listing up 55%

any of these areas are going to be fantastic For You Fix and Flip investors they’re probably going to be okay for rental investment to because it looks like they have.

Pretty terrific upside most of them have report really good schools,

and those are the kinds of things that you look for when you want to do a long-term buy-and-hold,

so these are the top 10 fastest growing suburbs and again we’re talking about growth in the sense of population growth

and which brings us back to one of the things if you’re looking to do remote flips you want to get outside of the area where you are you want to go to a place where the

population is growing you don’t want to buy houses in a community where the only people moving there are people who used to live there and they’re kind of moving back to the old home place.

[28:13] You know with all respect to America’s wonderful cultural heritage in small towns small towns.

In a really small towns are not the places where the bulk of our fixing flip activity is going to be small towns can be good place to,

hold rental properties and especially if there’s a college in the small town but that’s not where we’re going to do our fixing flipping you need to look for these

suburbs another’s like them that are growing coming up in just a moment we’re going to talk about our feelings

are you one of the 70% of Americans living paycheck to paycheck and tired of the stress if so I understand as I used to be in that 78.

I start investing 2003 when my network was negative eighty.

Since then I’ve built a business that generates over $500,000 a month in income and allows me the freedom to do what I want I’m Brad Chandler and I tease people just like.

How to find Freedom through real estate investing using a tactic that doesn’t require credit or tons of cash for a free training on how you too can do this please visit Brad camel.com.

Hey flipping America listeners have you ever walked into her property and said I have no idea what it will cost to repair this home Thursday.

[29:32] Music.

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[29:54] Music.

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[30:23] Music.

[31:18] When I was a kid I learned a valuable lesson about feelings I didn’t really know that’s what I was learning at the time but.

[31:25] I went to a swimming pool that had a little slide on it and it had a little curve in it you know you’ve seen those and had little water sprinklers on it to lube it up so he could shoot you off into the pool and

I climb to the top of that slide and I sit there and when I got up there I was terrified.

And I set up there for several minutes and finally you know I hate to admit this but I was just a kid.

I was too afraid to go you know at the water wasn’t over my head I didn’t know how to swim and that never really.

Been around swimming pools or anything like that much but I was just too afraid to go so I

stood up and went back down the ladder and made all the kids that were on the ladder behind me get off the ladder so I can come back down it was embarrassing it was humiliating and then I didn’t ever want to let that happen again so later on I went back.

To that pool when there was no one around and I set up there on that ladder and you know the more I set there the more I just.

[32:27] Was fearful and couldn’t go and finally with the encouragement of a neighbor

actually it was the neighbor kids mom who was yelling at me just go go already just go you never got you never going to go unless you go and things like that and finally I just went and you know it was fun.

After that I was soaked and you know before the next week was out I was doing all kinds of unsafe things going off that letter how’s it going head-first I was going head-first on my back I was.

Trying to go down on my knees I was doing all kinds of crazy things because I discovered that this thing was fun and I learned a valuable lesson about overcoming fear right then if you focus on the fear you’re paralyzed.

[33:14] Fast-forward maybe 40 years 30 years I was canoeing with the group of men,

down the river in North Georgia and we came to a spot where they traditionally took the canoes out of the water to jump off the big rock and I looked up and there was a big rock.

And it look like it was 15 20 feet above the water and by the time we climbed up there it was 30 feet above the water and I know that’s the same height as the 10

10 meter platform diving in the Olympics but you don’t realize how high that isn’t you get up there oh man one look and it was terrifying but I also remembered that lesson from when I was a kid

and I’m once the guys

one of the other guys jumped off and went down to the bottom of the river to make sure it was deep enough and safe to run any logs in there that we’re going to cause us to be you no lifelong paralyzed or anything like that

I volunteered to be the next one off and I walked up without hesitation just jumped off because if I’m I knew that if I stood there I would probably chicken out.

[34:14] There was another guy with us who is there for the first time he was in a city.

Gentlemen classic can we just say that and he

made the mistake that I had made when I was a kid he walked up there and looked off and he stood there for many thought you know I don’t really have anything to prove I don’t think I want to do this and he didn’t go

he never did jump he walked back down and he missed the opportunity to touch the bottom of the Deep River.

Which is what happened with me and you know I’ve used that lesson and in many different things and I remember in highschool one time I was,

I started learning how to play the piano and I’ve gotten pretty good at it 10 in one.

I want occasion I was called on well it wasn’t a surprise but I knew that I was going to be playing the piano in front of a thousand people.

[35:12] At my church.

And they were going to be out there now and I’ll bed stop to really think about this I would realize all these people were rooting for me because you know I’m just high school kid and I’m getting,

getting ready to get them play the piano but I wasn’t thinking about that I was saying about how nervous I was to be in front of all those people on my goodness and I when they called my name and it’s time to walk up there

my heart was pounding in my throat I could feel it and whole man it was but you know I’d I stood up and started walking

and once I stood up and start walking there wasn’t any going back have to go through with this and I’ll walk up there and I wasn’t sure I was going to be able to get started in the set

shut down and I looked at the keys and I practiced this number over and over again there were no surprises I knew it by heart I could

I could go over and play it in my sleep pretty much and I sat down and started playing and once I was 15 or 20 seconds into it I forgot that anyone was there,

and I played the entire thing and those feelings of anxiety were gone.

[36:17] Now the reason I tell you these stories from my own personal life is I want to talk about feelings.

[36:25] Our culture in our country thanks to the so-called breakthroughs in psychoanalysis and psychology for at least 75 years beginning with the Advent of rogerian psychology we spent,

Generations getting in touch with our feelings and you know what we’ve done we’ve made things worse.

[36:50] I want to contrast this with another personal story in 2009.

On April 21st my older brother died of cancer.

[37:05] It was a devastating day for our family he was just 56 years old.

[37:11] And truly sad I’m saddened by it even today many years later you know almost 10 years later.

[37:20] Unfortunately.

The the day of his death was just a couple of days before my mom’s birthday and I wondered even at the time how it would affect my mother going forward year after year and I want to say right now.

If you listen to show much you know my parents are

two of my heroes for what they have overcome in the way they have lived and conducted their lives honorably for so many years as of this moment both of them are alive and doing really well in their mid-to-late eighties and,

I’m proud to be their son and proud to be a part of their family but a year after my brother died on the anniversary of his death I called my mother.

They were still living in Florida at the time and I said Mom how you doing she said on Pine.

I said well I just wanted to reach out to you take Alli on this day she said why this day and I said Mom a year ago today Allen died.

[38:20] And she said oh my God I didn’t I didn’t remember that I said.

You didn’t remember she said while I remember he died but I didn’t remember which day it was I guess I haven’t given it any thought I said Mom you haven’t given it any thought she said oh no giving it giving it thought I’m going to change it and that wouldn’t be productive

I just choose not to think about it Long Prairie to stun Silence from me,

because I had spent years being a pastor and being in the ministry and talking with people who have dealt with grief and I had,

the reason I called my mom was I had personally witnessed many people who every year on the anniversary of a loss like this would have a hard day which is why I was reaching out to my mother and.

I will never forget her words I just don’t think about it and at first I thought that can’t be healthy.

[39:20] But now I’m not so sure she wasn’t denying her feelings she just wasn’t letting them being charged.

And that my friends is what we need to get ahold of today if your life is a play.

[39:37] Your feelings are an actor in the play but not the direct.

And this is the problem many of us have been conditioned to let feelings be the director in.

Our end of the play that is her life and I think the feeling should be an actor but not the director when we come back from this little word I’m going to tell you who the director should be.

[40:09] Music.

[40:20] Not too long ago we did a one-day flip starter in Chattanooga Tennessee and low and behold one of my old College friends came out to the event his name is Peter Faulkner and here’s what he had to say about the event.

[40:33] Peter Falkner here I tended a one-day flip starter training session led by Rodger black.

And I was amazed to see what has happened in Rogers Live from the last.

Plus years flipping over 800 houses and then this one day training he told how he did it and what the pitfalls the blessings the benefits.

And how to do it and I was so impressed with how well organized and how smooth the training Wednesday.

You’re tempted or in courage to go go at was not a bad price and if you get a chance to do it even just to consider in bed.

But I just want to thank Rodger for a great day today.

[41:16] Music.

[41:34] And the director of Our Lives is purpose yep you know even when you.

Do something as mundane as just trying to figure out what you’re going to have for supper how do you decide what you’re going to have for supper.

Is it going to be based on opening the refrigerator and standing there until something comes at you can or jumps out at you to get an idea or is it going to be.

Browsing through your options at the nearest restaurant.

Or are you just going to make a decision based on your dietary needs and your goals that you’re trying to accomplish with your caloric intake.

You know make a decision based on purpose.

[42:23] I want to talk to you little bit about the progression of activity and reaction in our lives,

they’re similar they’re not exactly the same because when we were reacting to something were actually reacting to an activating event or sometimes we are just choosing to act,

okay aside from the activating event the next four steps in the progression are the same let’s just talk about it in terms of reaction okay so there is the activating event something happened somebody does something and,

are it’s time for our reaction and usually the reaction happens before we give it much thought but what I’m trying to encourage you to do is to slow the train down a little bit and give this a little bit of thought at least thinking Advance about what you going to do all right so there’s the activating event

and almost instantly we will feel something

whether it’s Joy smile had sadness anger will feel something and

the next thing that should happen in this progression of reaction is thought,

we have feeling and that’s kind of a reflex action we have feeling thought is a choice.

An afterthought there is decision and after decision there is action.

[43:49] Now if we skip the thought step we’re going to have problems.

And unfortunately our culture has been training people over the last 75 years to focus on the feelings and has led to acting on or responding to the feelings.

[44:08] And we’re skipping thought this is why people do stupid and thoughtless things this is why crazy things happen because people are acting

based on their feelings and not running it through the filter of thought and making a decision based on what makes sense,

now if we completely ignore feelings we may run into some problems down the road there is some validity to the idea of stuffing our feelings but you know what

that problem is not as severe as the problem is created by acting without thinking.

It it would be better to have a pay a whole lot more acting without feeling than acting without thinking now.

Here’s another problem people have gone so long without really thinking before acting that.

This is a new habit it’s going to have to be learned and part of the challenge here is.

[45:10] You sit down and try to think and you don’t know how to think and you don’t know what to think and that’s why I say you need to go back to purpose because purpose is the director of this play purposes directing us

what is it we’re trying to achieve what we trying to accomplish what we trying to do what it what kind of person are we trying to be.

How does this fit into the larger picture and calling of Our Lives.

And as we were thinking about it if we can begin to answer those kinds of questions or maybe we we probably should already have the answers those questions figured out then.

We begin to act accordingly, let me back up and put this in new kind of a projection a different kind of order okay something happens.

[45:56] Maybe something happens where someone does something that’s irritating so your first feeling is to feel irritated.

Then the next thing to do is to think about it think about it now what do I think about it why am I irritated

at is this a personal affront to me is this something that is harm someone else one of the guiding principles and purposes of my life is to reserve my anger for things for that that should be.

We should be angry about and what are the things that are legitimate things to be angry about personal affront not so much.

I had just made up my mind I’m going to get angry about the things that anger God okay and

if somebody says something that annoys me I’m going to choose not to be angry about that and I know that this is going to sound crazy to you of not practice this but you can choose not to be angry.

You can you do not have to respond in Anger simply because someone said something that would naturally make you angry.

It will take a little bit of self-control and discipline to begin with but wants to have it sets in you’re going to be amazed at what you can choose to do.

Because you choose how you’re going to let your thoughts play out and determine your actions.

[47:26] Sometimes if you stop to think about things for a minute you will realize that the first the thing that that person did that irritated you.

Was probably not intentional.

[47:39] You need to give it some time to think what’s his intention was this an intentional front or were they being careless or where they just you know.

Completely ignorant of what they were doing and how it might affect me rather than just responding and anger it’s worth taking some time to think about those things.

And I don’t have one one rule with my wife it’s one of the man rules if I say something or do something that can be interpreted in more than one way and one of those ways hurt your feelings

I’m in it the other way it’s a little bit of a joke but I also am serious about it because.

You know I love my wife and I would not intentionally set out to hurt her to hurt her feelings are definitely her physically don’t think I could do that anyway she’s tougher than me but.

[48:37] I’m not going to set out to hurt her or offend her and you know most people.

Are not deliberately trying to annoy or irritate the people around them so if they do that maybe they were being thoughtless or maybe they were just unaware and so this doesn’t mean that we necessarily cut some slack or don’t call him out on it but it definitely changes the way we approach that conversation

because we approach the conversation from a thoughtful purposeful Direction rather than.

The feeling of annoyance or irritation you see the difference that difference is going to change our tone it’s going to change the words,

and it’s also almost certainly going to change the outcome because if we responding irritation with an irritated tone of voice,

we may not get the ultimate result that we would prefer to have which is a different sort of behavior from that other person.

[49:36] Now let’s translate this into just acting.

All right we’re going to go from 0 to just do something.

[49:48] It’s it doesn’t matter whether it’s a Command Performance where you’re going to get up on the stage and do something or if you are actually.

Thinking about your life and business and where I really want you to go with this is to think about business.

[50:05] Think about the difficult things that you need to do if you’re an entrepreneur.

To make your business successful when you look at your list of things that has to be done for today,

there are some good things that you’re looking forward to tackling there are some difficult things that you’re not really looking forward to doing and then there are inevitably phone calls that you need to make.

[50:31] You don’t feel like it.

You don’t feel like doing that that Dreadful thing that difficult thing you don’t feel like having that conversation right well the common wisdom is to do that thing first and that is coming wisdom and it is wise why because

you’re making a decision to do what you need to do even though you don’t feel like it.

[50:52] Now there is an abundance of research that suggests that a cure are an effective treatment of depression is physical activity.

[51:05] We don’t have time to get into it and even though I do have some graduate-level course work in counseling and psychology I’m not going to pretend to be an expert in this field but I’m just saying that I know from personal experience.

That you can overcome feelings with activity if you have feelings that are limiting you feelings of depression feelings of sadness feelings of being overwhelmed feelings of fear.

Action goes a long way.

To making those feelings go away this can also reduce feelings of anxiety just act.

Just do what needs to be done and get focused on the doing and not focused on your feelings if you focus on the doing.

Then it you know you’ll find in an old lady’s you can multitask I understand that but generally speaking we can only truly focus on one of these major things at a time if we focus on the doing.

We’re not thinking about how we feel and so therefore we’re able to move on and function.

[52:12] This is true in life it’s true in business.

[52:18] If you’re a long time listener you’ve heard me say that discipline is the habit of doing what needs to be done when you don’t feel like it.

[52:28] Well my friends.

[52:30] Living a meaningful purposeful life is something that you choose to do and sometimes it comes by choosing to ignore the way you feel right now.

And living based on that purpose going to come right back and answer some of your questions.

[52:46] Music.

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[54:32] Music.

[54:46] I think we got time to do a couple of questions Ronald from Colorado Springs Colorado says I need help finding deals for Flip’s oh boy maybe we only have time for one question here he says I’m wrapping up my third deal all three of them came from a small local bank,

they don’t have anything else now and I’m not sure what to do next I’ve read a bunch of articles online but I’m not sure which methods work and which ones are hyped thanks for the show well you’re welcome Ronald and thank you for the kind words and so here are.

[55:16] Well I’m going to give you a probably two or three ways and we’ve got 11 ways that we find deals here at flipping America I don’t think I have time to go to all of them but let me just give you a couple that you’re in Colorado Springs and I know,

but there is a there are at least two maybe 10 groups that meet

to talk about real estate investing in your area you just need to find them there’s a local Ria the Real Estate Investors Association go join their local Ria and

I would suggest that you create for yourself a free email address that separate from your normal one is just a Gmail and they can be you know Ronald buys Colorado at gmail.com or something like that

I just make it easy to remember mine is Rodger buys home to gmail.com because you want something like that because

if you’re going to get to a volume like I have here you’re going to have somebody else looking at that email and you don’t want that and mixed up with your own emailing

you wanted to be easy to remember and free is always good so create that then go to these meetings and incentives say hey I’m Ronald I am a cash buyer I want fix and flips,

if you have anything send it to Ronald buys Colorado at gmail.com or something like that.

[56:37] Okay go to as many meetings as you can even print up a little card that just has your name and that email don’t put your phone number on it unless you want people calling you which I don’t

just have them email the deals cuz you want time to look them over next thing jump on Craigslist Craigslist.

[56:58] As real estate search real estate for sale and you’re looking particularly for there are number phrases but you’re looking for Fixer-Upper handyman specials needs work though

those types of things and as you see those ads you’re going to see some that are no doubt from investors and wholesalers out there what you’re really trying to do here is get a list of wholesalers

don’t hesitate to call him especially if they use things like a RV or

did they put a number for rehab or something like that they use any kind of investor terminology you know it’s a wholesaler there’s nothing wrong with that now don’t spend any time analyzing the deal that they are presenting on Craigslist it may be gone by the time you call

it actually may have never existed they’re just looking to build their buyers list,

just call him get on their buyers list and find out if they have anything to sell to you and don’t stop until you’ve talked to 40 or 50 of these people in that maybe you don’t have that many in Colorado Springs will we have there are probably a thousand

wholesalers in metro Atlanta and the other thing is you you just need to make a note to call them back.

[58:08] Make make sure you forward calls a day to the wholesalers on the list that you got.

[58:13] And if you’ll do that you know our Atlanta coach Tony look at shevitz that’s the only thing he does for deal flow he just calls wholesalers all the time.

And he gets more to look at than you can handle.

Well I hope that helps Meredith Sydney Ellen carenza will get to your question on the next show will see you soon folks.

[58:32] Music.

[58:51] Our quote for today is from baltazar grassland who said over 400 years ago he said dreams will get you nowhere a good kick in the pants will take you a long way.

[59:02] This thought is brought to you by the foundation for Renewal working together with communities Nationwide to impact and improve lives find them on the web at renewal fund. Net.

And as always your gift in any amount is welcomed and tax deductible will see.

[59:17] Music.

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